Cultivating Self development Definition of Values and Morals

Most people want to become better people through self-development. Some consult self-help books or attend self-help seminars and the like. These are all well and good, indicating that they acknowledge that the only way to fight ignorance is by learning. However, many people overlook the fact that self-help is just that, helping your self. While books and seminars may point you in the right direction, ultimately self-development is a highly personal undertaking.

Each person is different. There is no template or blueprint to understanding a person’s “schematics,” so to speak. Even siblings near in age (or even twins) will attain self-development along different facts because it is not the external factors such as family, education, work, community or social ties that will determine the direction of self-development. It is the inner person that will step up to the plate and take the swing. One of the things that go into batting practice is values.

Values are the belief structure and motivational paradigm in which a person exists and which drives behavior. The extent to which these values conform to society’s moral code determines the morality of that person.

Why are values and morality important in self-development? Values are important because it represents the things that are important to you. If you value money above all things, it will be reflected in your aggressiveness, your willingness to sacrifice family, friends and health for the attainment of your goal, which is to accumulate money. The extent to which you are willing to go to attain this goal will also determine your level of morality like embezzlement.

In self-development, it is desired that morality conforms to societal norms because it is in the community that self-development can flower to the fullest. Essentially, values and morality dictate the direction, intensity and desirability of a person’s pursuits. Understanding one’s values and morality will enable a person to modify behavior in order to attain the goals that will best satisfy the value set upon it by a person.

For example, a man may value education for his children above all else because he wishes them to have a good life. He works two jobs to save enough money for college and he pushes his children to excel in school so they may apply for scholarship after graduation. However, in the pursuit of his goal, he failed to realize that his children have developed a deep dislike of school because it prevented them from going out with their friends and produced an absentee father. In the end, they refused to go to college at all. The father failed because he focused too much on providing a means for a college education for his children (the means) so they would have a good life (the end). He did not understand that it was the end that was important to him, not the means. He also failed morally because he was unable to help in the development of positive values and morality development in his own children, as he was not present.

Sometimes it is difficult for people to clarify what is important. They are so caught up in dealing with the pressures of daily life that there is little time for reflection. But sweating the small stuff usually obliterates the bigger picture because of all that sweat in the eyes. Being reactive will prevent you from being proactive and taking control of the steering wheel.

Long-term goals and plans get postponed or forgotten altogether because less important but more urgent things get in the way.
The path of self-development, however, demands that values be identified, morality established and long-term goals established. Otherwise, it would be just like drifting in the waves of someone else is making, or walking down a path well trodden to a place that has no personal meaning or value.

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